Turning 31

I dreaded turning 30. I remember hating everything leading up to my birthday last year. I didn’t want to make plans with anyone to celebrate. I didn’t even want anyone to acknowledge that it was happening because turning 30 meant accepting I hadn’t achieved any goal that I had set for myself by then. Turning 30 meant that I had to come face to face with myself thinking I was a failure.

One of my closest friends (who had turned 30 just a few years before me) saw that I was struggling and offered me a piece of assurance: “being 30 gives you new strength… a new level of understanding of your own needs. 30 gives you the courage to advocate for yourself and care less about other people’s unimportant opinions. 30 is going to be the best year of your life.”

Now that I’m 31, I understand what she meant.

Being 30 helped me realize a new path in life. I learned that the goals I had set for myself weren’t the right ones for me. In the past year, I have spent a little time everyday thinking about what I want for my future, for my career, for my happiness. I have come to realize what was important to me about my previous goals. I finally learned what I consider a meaningful job. Now, instead of feeling sorry for myself, I have accepted the challenge of finding that meaningfulness in my new career path. I have finally overcome self-pity and built resilience.

Being 30 helped me fight for my own needs. I finally understand the difference between unconditional and conditional love. My life and sanity have no space for the latter. 30 gave the courage to let go of and/or deeply alter relationships with people who didn’t actually care about me. It had the opposite effect too… 30 helped me see who I had lost in the past and needed to reconnect with. I came out of that year with the closest friendships I’ve ever had. And the sense of self worth and self esteem that only comes from unconditional love.

Being 30 helped me grow. I accepted the mistakes I had made in the past and forced myself to come face to face with them. I finally learned that the past cannot be altered, but I can and will change what I took from those mistakes. I am in control of my life’s trajectory. I am in control of my happiness. I am in control of me.

Being 30 helped me cultivate gratitude. I learned how lucky I am to have the family that I love, the friends that I need to grow, and a spirit that fights for happiness.

I cannot wait to see what being 31 brings.